Day 46

Total Calories: 1990
Weight: 143

Reflection
Man I have a problem. I can't decide if its that I'm too obsessed with analyzing all this nutrition stuff or if I'm not following through with anything. Am I not? I just want to be happy and healthy. I really don't get it from P90X. I just hate it. I want to do things that I like! So I went on a walk today. Then after I washed a car.

But my hardest part is the stupid calories. I just want so badly to eat on my calorie mark. But right at that 11th hour (literally, right at around 11pm) I cannot stop myself from eating. I drink water and try to suppress it, but I just need it!

Well just have to see where I'm at by Sunday, I'll be fasting all day that day. Hopefully I will see a difference. Then!

Day 45

Total Calories: 1950
Weight: 142

Reflection
I still have yet to see my scale hit 141. But I can definitely say I am seeing more 143s and 142s than I did last week. That's good! I'm just not going to be satisfied until I quit seeing the 140's altogether. I'm just not that kind of girl. And I want to be me again.

Day 43 & 44

Mon Net Calories: 1810
Tues Net Calories:  1780
weight: 143

Day 42

Week Net Calories: 1678
Week Calories: 1936

Net Calories: 1650
Weight: 142
Reflection
It's the Oscars darling! I love the dresses. I love the colors, the jokes, the way I seriously feel connected to the artists on the screen. But it's during these award shows that I always find myself soul searching. What am I doing with my life? These actors are my age! What have I accomplished?!? It's a struggle I deal with often. I confuse what's really accomplishing in my life.

But I realize one of the most accomplishing things I can do is look and feel my best in my body. And that's what I'm doing right now. I'm proud of myself for working hard this week. It'll still be time and work and I can't stop now but I need to pat myself on the back for what I have accomplished and am working hard on accomplishing.

Calories
Clementine 35
Corn bread 225
Pasta 400
Cottage cheese and peaches 140
Goldfish 200
Pasta 450
TOTAL: 1450

Exercise
NA

Day 41

Net Calories: 2090
Weight: 144

Calories
Crescent roll 150
Scrambled eggs 325
Bacon 90
Orange juice 130
Corn bread 170
PB&J 185
Goldfish 160
Pot roast 300
Haupia pie 145, 80, 125, 230
TOTAL: 2090

Exercise
NA

Day 40

Net Calories:1900
Weight: 145

Reflection
BLAH!!! I seriously hate being sick. I hate how I can't really tell if I'm hungry or not and I especially hate how the food doesn't taste as good :-( some may say, "take this time in starving yourself!" But i still want a dulled out flaver over nothing.

Calories
Soup 420
Clementine 30
Soup 350
Pasta 500
Chocolate 100
Ice cream 200
Cereal 300
TOTAL: 1900

Exercise
NA

Day 39

Net Calories: 2280
Weight: 144

Reflection
I love watching TV. Especially this lady, Julie Bowen. 1) she's hilarious 2) she plays a great mom 3) SHE's HOT!!!! If ever I'm having a lazy day, I just have to look at this mama and get me watching p90x.

Today was pretty bad calories wise because we went to a BBQ, I have such as weakness for eating a lot when we go out! Unfortunately I'm coming down with a cold so I couldn't work out.

Day 38

Net Calories: 1200
Weight: 144.2

Calories
Crepes 350
pasta 600
chocolate 150
steak tacos 400
guacamole and chips 300
TOTAL: 1800

Exercise
P90X core synergenistics -600

Day 37

Net Calories: 1350
Weight: 144.8

Reflection
Well, this was a bummer. My weight was MORE than yesterday. I hate weighing myself because it always just feels like this cycle of about 5 lbs. 142-147 round and round and round. I really want to see 137 as my height and 132 as my low. 10 lbs!!! That's it, but first I need to just see a lb. I'll still on this workout for a couple more weeks and if it isn't working I'll have to readjust my calories again...

Day 36

Monday net calories: 1280
Weight: 143
 

Reflection
That's right everybody. I'm back! And on my 'A' game. I'm ready to kiss my tummy goodbye! It's so empowering to get back into the right cycle. I really think this whole Del Rio goals and such is great too. It's going to happy here. This is where I will get in shape!

I think another very big distinction I have to make when I eat is why am I eating. Here's a link that explains why sometimes when eat when you're not actually hungry. I'll have to refer to that often.

Days 33-35

Week Net Calorie Average: 1622

Reflection
This week has been extremely abnormal again with moving, unpacking and exploring our next city Del Rio. However, after finally settling in, I'm pleased to say I worked out Friday and Saturday and plan to workout all next week. I will have plenty of more time now that I'm here without a job haha.

I'm fairly disappointing with my net caloric intake for this week. But I can't be too mad at myself when I haven't been trying as hard. So I've made two additional goals for this week:

• eat more vegetables
• weigh myself daily and include in the blog

These goals I think will help me keep closer to my goals of losing weight, being healthy, and working out to P90X.

All this stuff is a lot to take on . It's so much harder post high school. I had a friend ask me today if I still danced. It is so sad to say I don't. I can't because I can't afford it and do not have a place to dance in this small city. 

Days 29-32

Reflection: 

This week has been so busy. I know it's still not the ideal excuse to ever give. Someday I will be able to move and workout of top of the stress. I have to remind myself though: I LOVE WORKING OUT. So often I convince myself that it's something I don't like when in all reality, I've really missed it over this past week. I think my calorie intake has missed the benefits of working out too. Last week was horrible! I'm embarrassed to remember how behind I am. 

I'm going to keep trucking forward from where I left off. This won't give me the results of P90X regime so I will probably do the whole program again. But it's the only way that makes sense to me. I don't want to do the same workouts over and over when I know I could be one my phase two. So as of now I have 4 days left of the normal phase one. Then I will do my week of synergetic and yoga!

Day 27 & 28

Week Caloric Intake: 1937

Calories Saturday
English muffin 220
Fruit 80
Thin mints 320
Refried beans 150
Chips and salsa 200
Pork tacos 300
Chocolate 150
Beeferoni 560
TOTAL: 1980

Calories Sunday
Brownie 450
Blue bell ice cream 300
Grilled cheese 400
Beans 15
Mashed potatoes 150
Pork chop 200
Bread 100
Cereal 300
TOTAL: 1915

Day 25 & 26

Y.I.K.E.S.

Reflection
What's the problem Steph? Why are you 'yikes'-ing? We'll here. I'll admit it.

Net Calories: 2215 and 2510

Yes it's true, this may possibly be my worst week. Unless I fast all of tomorrow, I will average at least 250 more calories than the past couple weeks. I made a goal. And I haven't been holding myself to it.

But I forbid myself to feel bad, make and excuse, or obsess over my weaknesses. Because that is my biggest weakness: thinking I've gone too far from my goal and quitting. I do it in all aspects of my life and terminate my goal process before seeing the true progress. I'm started to realize I have to push myself do get anything and everything done. So I'm not quitting on myself this time. I've promised myself to write. I've promised myself to finish and get back into shape. And so I WILL!

Day 24

Net calories: 1350

"You can do anything for 30 seconds." - Tony Horton

This phrase is seriously on repeat in my head the whole time I'm working through Plyometrics

Reflection
I am finally ate more reasonably today which is great. I was really proud of myself when I chose to go to pandera over five guys tonight. Although I did sneak a fry...

Exercising is seriously SOOOO amazing to me. I always have more energy afterwards, sleep better, and genuinely want to be more healthy. It just the getting yourself to do it part that's the hardest...which is what this blog is for!

Day 23

Net Calories: 1690

love the quote. but this girl is like...13. haha!

Reflection
Today was certainly better for net calories but I'm still over 400 calories away from my 1275 goal. I really don't have a good excuse for overeating too. I wasn't thinking. But "it is what it is" as my dad always says. I can't sulk in the past but must instead make the commitment to not do it tomorrow :)

Day 22

Net Calories: 1900

Last week's average calories: 1453

Reflection
ON LAST WEEK: I am proud of myself for staying on task with my calories despite the lack of working out. I'm still not going to get the ultimate results I WANT if I keep decreasing my workout amount.

ON TODAY: Moving day was today. Oh my goodness today was soooooooo stressful. I definitely stress ate because of it. I'm sure it's possible I burned more calories with all the cleaning but thought to be safer. So wow! So many calories. And not very healthy ones at that. I definitely have my work cut out to get me back on track.

Day 20 & 21

Net Calories: 1850 Saturday & 1820 Sunday

Reflection
Well...it's an oopsie daisy couple of days for me. This is one of my all-time favorite images to motivate me. **secret** I have an album on my iPad with tons of these images that I can flip through when I'm not feeling motivated. Obviously I have not been looking at it...but if I could say what I've learned in the past couple days it's this. There is never an excuse. And I will be better.
I know there is never a reason to make an excuse but all this packing and saying goodbye to people has been exceptionally draining. So let me rephrase my prior statement: I will be better AND realistic. Tomorrow is moving day so I will have to skip again then but I'll come in full force on Tuesday. I should be able to finish my third week this week.

Day 19

NET CALORIES: 1450

that's exactly what I look like when I workout at home

Reflection
Well happy Friday to all! I cleaned the house today instead of P90X because we have to have a perfect looking house before we move. It's a lot of work and certainly burning my calories right.